


i want to tell you (don't hurt me)

by jaeson



Category: GOT7, GOT7 (K-Pop), K-pop, Kpop - Fandom
Genre: M/M, short mentions of a panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 08:14:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4172487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeson/pseuds/jaeson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jackson gets back to the dorm after having had a nine hour filming, Jaebum is lying on Jackson’s bed, sprawled all over it like it’s his fucking kingdom whilst he looks at his phone with a smile on his face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i want to tell you (don't hurt me)

** 00:00 **

Jackson is hurt.

Well, not really, or at least, not literally. His pride is hurt. Why?

Im Jaebum.

***

_Jackson has been trying to take everything in with calmness and ignorance as best as he can. He knows the members are just doing it to be funny, it’s their first variety program and they need it to do well if they want a second one, but still... He doesn’t know how to deal with their comments about him, they’re not meant to be mean or anything. It’s just..._

_“Yah, Jackson-ah,” Jaebum’s voice snaps him out of his trance. “Your variety skills are very good, yes, they are.”_

_Jackson smiles but he knows that something bad will follow after that._

_“When you are on the side, can you shut your mouth?” Jaebum asks smirking. “Do we have to zip up your mouth?”_

_“If I don’t speak-“Jackson tries to defend himself, but it’s no use as Jaebum and the other members interrupt him._

**_“Even if you don’t speak, the world will still go round!”_ ** _Jaebum yells._

_All the members start to cheer and clap for Jaebum, just as Jackson’s heart sinks a bit more and more as he sees them. He clenches his teeth and still tries to smile._

_‘It’s for the show, only for the show,’ he tells himself._

_“Jackson-ah, your variety skills are good, they really are,” Jaebum begins again when the members are back on their seats. “But you are only good because you are with us. Could you still do well if you were by yourself?”_

_He looks at Jaebum with gritted teeth as Shinyoung forces him to smile._

_‘It’s just for the show, really’ he repeats in his head. ‘For the show.’_

_And although he acts happy and lets the hurt and anger out when it’s finally his turn to complain, he still can’t help but feel self-conscious as he smiles and tells the staff how thankful he is._

***

** 00:01 **

**_“Even if you don’t speak, the world will still go round!”_** echoes in his head again and again, even when the members finally shuffle into the van after the filming ends.

 _‘Good,_ ’ Jackson thinks. _‘Let’s see how it is when I don’t speak.’_

***

** 10:19 **

It’s been a few hours since Jackson has not talked to any of the members (he must admit though, that some of these hours he was asleep and 1 ½ he was half asleep), but he thinks, that not having to talk or break the ice is kind of nice too.

***

** 16:02 **

“Jackson?” he hears Youngjae’s soft voice ask hesitantly.

The older male looks up from his phone to find Youngjae looking at him with furrowed eyebrows.

For the first time, Jackson notices how tired the younger looks. Without all the make-up and hairspray, he can now see the large eye bags, small pimples and black spots on Youngjae’s face. He decides that he does not like how worn out the other looks.

“Uhm, can I talk to you?” Youngjae asks.

Jackson just nods in response and pats the empty space on his bed.

“I need your advice,” the younger begins as he sits down next to Jackson. “I know I normally go to Jinyoung or Jaebum for this and I did, but... Anyway, I am really worried about the college entrance exam. I mean, I don’t have much time to study because of our schedules and...”

He runs his hand through Youngjae’s now soft hair calmly, encouraging the other to continue. 

“Jaebum says college doesn’t matter because we’re idols and it’s not like we’ve got any time to go anyway, Jinyoung says the same, yet I... I want to make my parents proud and at least graduate college, I mean,” Youngjae sighs irritated, probably because he can’t express himself well. “I know we will someday have to disband, whether it’s in 5, 10 or 15 years and if that happens, I want to at least have something that secures my future after the fame.”

The elder’s resolve to not talk to the members is crumbling slowly (he knows it hasn’t even been a day, but still….) more so now that Youngjae is looking at him expectantly. Jackson sighs, his hands automatically gripping his phone which lights up with a message from his mother.

Message... Message! Of course.

He unlocks his phone quickly, opens Kakao-Talk and searches for Youngjae’s contact.

_‘You should do what you want, Youngjae-ah. Jaebum or Jinyoung’s opinions aren’t important. If you want to go to college in between of our schedules, do it. I’ll have your back.’_

Jackson motions for Youngjae to check his phone. The other just looks at him confused before fishing his phone out of his pyjama pants and reading Jackson’s message carefully.

“Hyung...” the younger mumbles.

He makes a questioning sound before he looks back to Youngjae who seems like he will start to cry at any given moment.

“Thank you.”

That’s all Youngjae says before hugging the shit out of Jackson and then leaving again.

***

** 27:23 **

Jackson is in a very risky moment of his operation ‘Show-Jaebum-he-is-a-massive-dick’.

Their first interview, since the end of I GOT7, is being set up at the moment and Jackson knows he cannot not talk during their schedule but he also cannot speak to the members, because that would be against the rules – which he himself had decided on. He should seriously start to look at all the aspects of his operations in the future –.

Suddenly Jackson is being guided by their manager to where the members are supposed to sit.

He, of course, is sitting in the middle _and next to Jaebum._ Jackson sure is lucky these days.

***

** 28:00 **

Jackson – he is kind of a genius, he swears – had figured that he didn’t need to talk _to_ the members during the interview; he could talk _about_ them or just simply answer the question and/or _refer to_ what they had just said. That definitely does not count as talking _to_ them, right?

***

** 49:13 **

He is sitting on his bed with his computer, looking through some of the fans’ comments when Mark enters their room with a really worried face.

Mark’s eyes immediately fix on him after closing the door.

“Jackson, why haven’t you been speaking?” he asks. “Oh, wait; you’re not going to answer, are you?”

The younger just smiles brightly.

“You know, this is kind of really fucked up in so many ways,” Mark laughs bitterly. “All the members used to complain about you being so loud all the time.”

 _‘Used? It’s been only two days since I haven’t spoken to them though,’_ he thinks to himself.

“But I think they’re quite missing you being loud,” the older continues. “And for that matter, I think they miss you actually spending time with them and not only being in our room. I mean, I thought that was my part in this entire Korean boy band thing.”

Jackson just makes an unconcerned sound.

“If this is about what we said during the I GOT7 thing, you should know that we didn’t mean it in a bad way or anything,” Mark continued.

The younger just caresses the other’s legs lovingly and nods understandingly. He knows it wasn’t meant to be mean or hurtful, but Jackson still thinks that he has to make the members – Jaebum – realize how much it is actually needed that he talks.

Mark smiles at him before he goes to his own bed and starts looking through his phone.

***

** 55:06 **

It’s early in the morning (about 5 o’clock Jackson thinks) when he sluggishly walks to the kitchen, his hand automatically moving to rub his eyes in an useless try to make himself wake up more.

Jaebum is already in the kitchen…. as usual. Nevertheless, Jackson puts the kettle on and then leans on the countertop. 

“Not even a good morning?”

Jackson only shrugs with his shoulders tiredly.

***

** 58:33 **

Jackson is sitting on the kitchen table drinking tea meanwhile Jaebum is preparing himself a coffee behind him, when Jinyoung storms into the room, his phone tightly grasped in his hand and a frown firmly planted on his face. He already knows that Jaebum has fucked up in some way.

“Did you write to management with my phone without permission?” Jinyoung croaks, his voice dangerously low. “Jaebum!”

The leader though only turns around unfazed.

“I did,” he replies calmly. “If I hadn’t done it-“

“You had no right to do this, Jaebum!” Jinyoung yells, his hands attaching to Jaebum’s collar in a smooth move (his phone now lying on the floor). “Who gave you the fucking right?”

Instead of answering, Jaebum looks at Jackson for help. Probably expecting him to sooth Jinyoung with sweet nothings and make them talk it out with a few inappropriate jokes like he always does. But Jackson is having none of it. After all, **_the world will still go round if you don’t talk, Jackson._**

“Say something, huh!” Jinyoung demands, pulling Jaebum even closer. “If you are so brave as to decide for others, why aren’t you brave enough to talk now, huh?”

Jackson smiles to himself; Jinyoung has always known how to upset someone the best.

 “Talk, Jaebum!”

JB, however, has never been good with words, so he just pushes Jinyoung away from his body with a forceful shove.

Jackson has seen this side of Jaebum a lot; he knows how the older can get quite aggressive when he knows he has done something wrong or when he is being cornered. It’s always been the other’s way to express his emotions. Jackson still doesn’t think that it’s the right way to do it.

GOT7 can’t afford to have any bruises on their members’ faces anyway.

“Do you want to be hit?” Jaebum growls.

“Do it!” Jinyoung returns. “The only thing you can do is hit, Jaebum, I hope you at least can do that well.”

Jackson just sighs as he leaves his now cold tea on the table and stands up.

“Pft,” Jaebum sneers, his fist already swinging towards Jinyoung.

But before it can go anywhere near Jinyoung, Jackson intervenes with his own arm, blocking Jaebum’s fist from moving entirely. He shoves Jaebum away with a swift move of his other arm, the other too shocked from Jackson’s action to even put up a fight.

When Jaebum is all the way back to the kitchen counter, Jackson turns around towards Jinyoung who is looking at him with big, round eyes as his quivering hands reach the Chinese’s chest, all the fake bravado gone.

Jackson simply smiles at him, his right hand coming up to pat his head softly before he envelopes the other in a hug. Jinyoung’s arms immediately wrap themselves around the other’s body for comfort as he silently starts to cry in Jackson’s embrace.

***

** 59:01 **

_To Jaebum:_

_‘You should at least apologize today/tomorrow morning. You know that what you did was wrong.’_

***

** 59:03 **

_To Jaebum:_

_‘A good leader doesn’t need to force their own opinions onto others, he has to listen and sometimes come to realize, that others have different opinions and that that is perfectly okay.’_

_‘He also has to let others decide for themselves and even let them make mistakes, so that they can realize and correct their mistakes on their own.’_

***

_From Jaebum:_

_‘Thank you.’_

***

** 77:51 **

Slowly it’s getting hard for Jackson not to talk to the others. Mostly because Bambam and Yugyeom seem to be desperate to get him to speak. But he swears he won’t let them get to him.

“Hyung!” Yugyeom greets happily as he walks into Jackson and Mark’s room. “The movie you promised to watch with us is on!”

Jackson chuckles.

“I’ll drag you out of the room if you don’t come,” the younger warns.

He does a gesture that means that Yugyeom should try if he wants to so desperately; he guesses the other understood by the way that Yugyeom comes over to his bed, now yelling something about piggy back rides and how Jackson seems to have gotten fatter. For that, he gets hit on his head. Hard.

***

** 91:48 **

The next morning Jackson wakes up on the sofa, with Bambam lying on him and Yugyeom’s head resting on his leg. 

He thinks the back pains, he gets after, are definitely worth it.

***

** 109:00 **

When Jackson gets back to the dorm after having had a nine hour filming, Jaebum is lying on Jackson’s bed.  Sprawled all over it like it’s his fucking kingdom whilst he looks at his phone with a smile on his face.

Jackson is more bothered than he should be, honestly, but he’s tired and not really in his right state of mind.

“Move,” he groans. “Now.”

The elder looks up from his phone; the smile now replaced by a frown.

“Calm down,” Jaebum huffs, making no movement to _actually_  move away from Jackson’s bed whatsoever.

“I am not joking, Jaebum, move the fuck away,” he insists, barely keeping his anger in. “Right now.”

Jaebum shakes his head vehemently.

Jackson is so near to smashing Jaebum’s head in that it’s not even funny anymore. But because Jackson is a very nice human being, he does not hurt the other in any way, in lieu of that, he just throws himself onto Jaebum – who lets out a groan – and falls asleep in a matter of seconds.

(And if Jackson wakes up cuddled up to Jaebum and with morning wood, nobody needs to know.)

***

** 115:32 **

He doesn’t count last night’s incident as talking _to_ Jaebum because he was exhausted and he couldn’t be held responsible for anything he did.

***

** 117:59 **

“Mark, Jinyoung, you have to concentrate!” Jaebum yells frustrated.

Jackson and the members have been practicing for 2 hours already, it’s not as long as they normally practice, but it’s long enough for their bodies to already be sore. And to add to that, Mark and Jinyoung have been making the same mistakes since they’ve started to practice, which means that Jaebum is getting furious instead of trying to solve the problem and that the rest of the members are starting to also get frustrated beyond repair.

“We are, Jaebum!” Jinyoung replies, running his hand through his hair. “But not all of us are as talented as you and can get everything done in a few hours...”

“I think it’s definitely time to have our lunch break before we keep going,” Yugyeom interrupts before Jinyoung and Jaebum can get into a fight.

“Yeah, Jinyoung hyung and Mark hyung can get their minds off of dancing for a few minutes,” Bambam adds, but Jackson knows he’s not thinking about neither of the two members, he’s probably just dying to be able to eat something.

“Good, we can have a 30 minutes break,” Jaebum sighs exasperated.

Bambam, Yugyeom and Youngjae immediately start to cheer, then softly tab Jaebum on the shoulder once before leaving the training room together. Mark, Jinyoung, Jackson and Jaebum, however, stay put.

“Aren’t you going out to eat?” Jaebum asks, already on his way to his bag.

“No,” Jinyoung answers determined. “I’m going to keep practising.”

Jackson smiles at that, of course he is. The rapper goes to Jinyoung’s side, patting his head softly and afterwards, when Jinyoung looks back at him with a smile, probably knowing that Jackson means he is going to stay with him, grins widely.

“I’ll buy some food for us,” Mark laughs. “Then I’ll come back and practice with you.”

He nods at him before taking Jinyoung’s hand and having him go into the initial position.

(When the music is already turned on and Jinyoung is dancing, Jackson glances at Jaebum who is looking like a kicked puppy. But when the Chinese boy looks at the benches near the door again, the leader is nowhere in sight.)

***

** 118:27 **

All the members are now back from the break, the food and fun forgotten as they dance in sync, Mark and Jinyoung getting it right now too, but as they finally get past the second verse of their comeback song, it’s Jaebum who keeps making mistakes during the Bridge.

Jackson already knows it’s going to be a long day.

***

** 129:05 **

Jackson is exhausted. Really, he swears, he’s not even joking, if he could, he would never get out of the van. Not even if it meant he could go to sleep in his own bed.

“Wang Jackson,” he suddenly hears Mark whisper from the seat next to him.

It hurts even to just turn his head towards the direction where Mark is sitting. Nevertheless, he still turns it towards the older boy and taps his hand so that the other knows he is listening to him.

“When are you going to start talking to us again?” Mark asks, looking at him expectantly.

Jackson... Jackson actually doesn’t know when.

He knows the reason why he’s doing it, of course he does, but he doesn’t know when he’ll stop. It has become like a habit now. Not to talk, he means. Sometimes, he just feels like he doesn’t need to or doesn’t have the energy to speak. It has become comfortable for him, not having to be the funny one, the one who satisfies others but is left behind, the one who always thinks that other people come before him. It’s nice.

He only shrugs, turning his head away from Mark and leaning it on the cold glass of the car’s window.

***

** 129:24 **

“Hyung,” Bambam blurts out suddenly.

 Jaebum, Jackson, Jinyoung and Mark turn towards the Thai member simultaneously, all of them tired and ready to go to bed.

“Jackson hyung,” Bambam corrects himself.

Jinyoung, Jaebum and Mark turn away immediately, relieved they don’t have to stay awake any longer.

“Can I sleep with you today? Like we did when we were trainees?” He asks; puppy dog eyes and all.

Jackson directs him a tired smile and just gestures for him to follow him.

***

** 133:42 **

Bambam has become much bigger than when they were trainees, which means that he takes up more space and therefore also doesn’t mind to throw Jackson out of his own bed in the middle of the night, which explains why Jackson is walking towards the kitchen at 4:32 a.m.

It, however, does not explain why Jaebum is sitting on the couch, knees safely tugged under his legs, watching a movie for kids while he silently glares at the TV as if it had stolen his most precious possession.

Jackson chuckles to himself before he instead of walking to the kitchen redirects his path and goes to Jaebum’s side instead. But even when he sits down next to the other, he doesn’t react. The Chinese boy doesn’t get a nod, or a wave, or anything that could be seen as a polite greeting between friends, which gets Jackson kind of really curious as to what Jaebum is thinking about at this hour of the day. That’s why he decisively pokes the leader’s arm.

Jaebum though doesn’t even react to it in lieu he just keeps staring at the television’s screen.

That only makes the rapper even more resolute to find out what the other is thinking so he keeps on poking and tapping Jaebum’s arm until he finally gets a reaction.

And a reaction he does get. Admittedly, a very strange one.

“I think I miss your voice,” Jaebum mumbles still not taking his eyes away from the TV. “I seriously think I miss you talking and yelling and trolling and joking around like a little kid when you’re at home, when you are not pretending to be happy go lucky for the fans. I miss it so much. What is wrong with me?”

But before Jackson can give the other any kind of answer, Jaebum is already on his way back to his room.

***

** 138:19 **

Jackson wakes up with a mouthful of Bambam’s now blond hair and Bambam hanging on him like a koala. He can’t say he minds all that much after all he hasn’t been spending much time with the younger boy lately.

He’s happy to have him back by his side.

(But his thoughts still drift back to Jaebum or better, what Jaebum had said last night.)

***

** 145:55 **

From what Jackson can see or hear Jaebum is full on avoiding him.

Whenever the younger boy is just in hearing range from the leader, the other goes to another member and starts talking about the stupidest things – like lingerie, deodorant and Jackson even heard something about the ‘usefulness of spoons’ – he can probably think of.

But apparently, Jackson is not the only one who notices because soon enough Youngjae is approaching him during one of their breaks.

“Why is Jaebum hyung avoiding you?” he asks, confusion written all over his face. “Until yesterday he was whining about what a problem it is that you aren’t talking to anyone. He was even watching videos of you talking.”

Jackson snorts at that, trust Im Jaebum to not be able to actually tell Jackson that he misses him in a sincere way.

“Do you think this is a strategy?” Youngjae continues.

The Chinese boy shakes his head then goes to find his phone, which is stuck somewhere in his bag. When he finally finds it, he immediately goes to Youngjae’s contact and writes a message.

_‘Yesterday he told me he missed my voice. I think he’s embarrassed. ;-)’_

Youngjae snorts this time; amusement obviously all over his face as his hand comes up to hide his mouth preventing him to laugh out loud. Jackson has to smile too, just from seeing the younger boy being so happy.

“Did he seriously do that?” Jackson nods in response. “Oh my god, that’s so...”

“He’s obviously got a crush on you,” he hears Jinyoung say.

Jackson almost has a heart attack from seeing Jinyoung suddenly sitting besides them, he swears, he needs to pay more attention to his surroundings.

“Maybe Jaebum does,” Youngjae answers calmly. “I mean, if you think about it objectively... It does sound quite possible...”

The Chinese boy chuckles; Jaebum is too much in denial to know that he has a crush on Jackson and that’s exactly what he writes in the next message to Youngjae.

“If you would talk to us, it would be so much easier to work this out,” Jinyoung sighs.

It’s not like Jackson actually wants to talk about it anyway.

Jackson just shrugs with his shoulders as a reply before he stands up, turns up the volume of the loudspeakers, puts their comeback track on again and starts dancing to it, carefully watching out for any mistakes on the mirror.

***

** 157:09 **

“You can’t go in there, hyung!” Yugyeom shrieks as he breezes past Jackson to get into the bathroom.

Jackson is not even able to nod in agreement ere he has a door slammed in his face.

***

** 157:31 **

Yugyeom’s been in the bathroom for almost 20 minutes – Jackson knows for a fact he is not taking a shower at the moment – and Jackson is starting to get worried about the Korean boy, so he knocks softly on the door.

“I- I am coming out soon!” he hears Yugyeom yell from inside.

Jackson knocks again.

“Hyung, I told you, I told you I’m going to c-come out soon!”

The Chinese boy isn’t sure if Yugyeom is jerking off or crying in the bathroom, but his gut feeling tells him it’s the second one.

Nevertheless, Jackson gives the door another rap.

“Hyung, I swear I am getting out of the bathroom any minute now!”

Jackson only rasps his throat as a response, tapping against the door again and finally the door is being opened, forcefully but still opened, by Yugyeom, who is looking like he’s in the middle of a panic attack, what with his ragged sobs and hyperventilating.

He hesitates for a moment, he isn’t sure what he should do, should he stay beside the other until he calms down or is it better for him to just talk to Yugyeom and tell him to calm down? He decides for the first choice.

Jackson’s arms immediately guide the younger boy back into the bathroom to then kick the door closed and let the other sit down on top of the toilet. His arms instantly envelope Yugyeom, who is clinging onto him as if he were his life saver, in a hug.

“Shhhh,” Jackson croaks as he caresses the younger boy’s hair softly.

“I am so sorry,” Yugyeom sobs. “So s-sorry, hyung.”

“Huh?” Jackson inquires.

“I think, I...” Yugyeom begins to say, but gets interrupted by another body wrecking sob. “I think I just, I just, bring you guys down...”

The older boy shakes his head vehemently wanting the other to see that it’s not true, that he’s talking complete rubbish right now.

“Even the fans think that- that way!” the younger guy continues. “They say – they say, that I’m boring, that I don’t – I don’t contribute anything, but...” the boy pauses for a moment, his hands tightening around Jackson’s chest. “But make more work for you. And I know – I know it’s the – the truth! Jinyoung – Jinyoung, huh, Jinyoung is always staying – staying up until late to pack lunch for – for me, Jaebum is always trying to help me study for school, even when – when he’s drop dead tired. And you – I even made you stop talking by-by trying to be funny!”

“No,” Jackson denies it courtly. “No.”

Yugyeom looks at him with red eyes as he keeps sobbing. “It’s true, hyung!”

“No,” Jackson repeats again, but now looking into Yugyeom’s eyes as he says it.

                                                                                                 ***         

** 157:48 **

Yugyeom has finally calmed down enough for Jackson to be able to extricate himself from the other in order to type a message into his phone and send it to him.

_‘Yugyeom-ie, what you said is not true! The rest of the members and I love you to death, that’s why we do all that we can to help you. You’re not **more** work, but **less**! _

_Thanks to you we get to laugh and get even closer to each other!_

_Jinyoung does it for you because it’s his way to feel like he can actually give you something back for all the hard work you do when you help him during dance practices and Jaebum helps you to study because he wants you to be able to go to school and not feel like you’re stupid, because that’s how he felt when he was younger._

_And I didn’t stop talking because of you; I stopped because I didn’t want to be a bother for the rest of you and most importantly, show Im Jaebum how screwed up he is without me!_

_So please stop crying, Yugyeom-ie, because it hurts to see you like this and knowing that I’m not able to help you in any way. Please stop reading these senseless comments that are written by people, exactly for this, for you to feel bad about yourself, when you are actually one of the most beautiful, kindest and most intelligent people I know, okay?’_

A few seconds after Jackson has pressed the ‘Send’ button, Yugyeom’s phone chimes beside them. Yugyeom looks at Jackson, then at the phone and then back at Jackson with a confused look on his face, his eyes still red from all the crying.

***

** 157:51 **

When the Korean boy is finally done with reading Jackson’s extremely cheesy message, a quiet laugh escapes from his lips startling Jackson, who, after he recovers from his shock, immediately smiles back at the other.

“I’m going to frame this,” Yugyeom croaks. “And put it on my night table.”

Jackson nods in agreement, hugging the other boy tightly.

“I love you, Yugyeom-ie,” he mumbles.

“I love you, too, hyung.”

***

** 169:38 **

After what happened last night with Yugyeom Jackson isn’t too sure if he should keep this ‘not-speaking-to-the-members-except-in-very-serious-situations-or-situations-where-i-am-exhausted-as-fuck-and-cannot-be-held-responsible-for-my-actions’ thing going on.

He’s torn between showing it to Jaebum and being insecure if it’s fair towards the other members.

Jackson’s been noticing how tense the dorm has become since he stopped talking. Bambam and Yugyeom only really spend quality time with each other or sometimes with Jackson, Jinyoung’s been only relying on Jackson lately, Youngjae is the only one who still talks to everyone but even he is keeping a safe distance, Mark is actually like he always is but that only applies if Jackson is alone with him, the rest of the time the other is just silently watching everyone and Jaebum... Jaebum is getting easily frustrated nowadays, only barking orders at them and whatnot.

He doesn’t want to say that it’s become like that because he has stopped speaking to them but Jackson still feels like it’s kind of his fault.

***

** 170:00 **

Jackson has made up his mind. He will start talking to everyone again but only starting from tomorrow.

After all, a Monday is a good time to begin, right?

***

** 173:24 **

There’s only a few hours left until Jackson has to talk again – and he’ll be asleep for at least half of those – so he is doing his best to enjoy the last hours of being silent.

And by ‘enjoying’ he means making himself a cup of tea. He is in the middle of stirring the tea when he suddenly feels strong arms embrace him from behind and a chest pressing against his back softly.

Just by the height and tenseness of the person’s body he knows it is Jaebum. So he’s not ashamed when he presses himself slightly more against the other boy’s warm body and lets his hands come up to tenderly stroke Jaebum’s hands.

“Please talk to me again,” Jaebum pleads, his hot breath tickling Jackson’s neck. “I know I often say that you’re too loud, too childish or too energetic, but I don’t... I don’t say it for you to actually stop doing it. I say it because I know or I thought I knew it wouldn’t bother you like it would bother the other members if I said anything against them...”

Jaebum’s arms tighten even more around Jackson’s waist.

“Please, Jackson, please just speak to me again,” Jaebum continues. “I miss you telling me the stupidest jokes, I miss you screaming around in the morning for Youngjae to wake up, I miss you bringing us all together during the night and making us watch chick flicks with you, I miss you letting me cuddle you to death as we talk about useless things, I miss you making me forget my worries by simply talking to me. I miss you. I miss your voice. I miss your everything.”

Jackson knows that he won’t be able to resist Jaebum for much longer if the other keeps going on like that.

“Okay,” he rasps out, his voice still feeling a bit awkward to him. “I’ll talk, but please stop being so cheesy, it’s making me cringe.”

He feels Jaebum’s sigh of relief on his collarbone, the warm breathe making him shudder softly. Jackson knows Jaebum felt it too because of the soft laugh that escapes the other’s mouth.

“I’ll do whatever you want,” Jaebum assures Jackson before effortlessly making Jackson’s whole body turned around. “Just please, tell me if I am over-doing it next time.”

“Pft, always only giving me more tasks to do,” Jackson smiles, his tone as playful as always.

 Jaebum, though, only looks down at Jackson before leaning in and pressing his lips lightly against Jackson’s; the Korean’s hand automatically coming up to cup the younger boy’s face. Jackson immediately reciprocates the kiss, his arms taking a hold of Jaebum’s waist as he deepens the kiss without really intending to.

When they finally pull apart, they just goofily stare into each other’s eyes while smiling.

***

** 00:00 **

Jackson can now definitely say that although not talking is nice in many ways, talking is way better.

(Even if just for the fact that he now gets to kiss Jaebum almost anytime he wants.) 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed it :-)


End file.
